


To be loved and left alone

by KnottyCricket



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A dose of reality, Angst, Deceit, Economics, Eventual Smut, Eye service, F/M, Fluff, Jonerys, Slow Burn, Temptation, dilemma, jonerys baby, new ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 10:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14103480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnottyCricket/pseuds/KnottyCricket
Summary: The beginning of this story picks up at post-season eight, with a supposedly happy family and a united Westeros; but what sacrifices had to be made to achieve this?The characters in this story deal with real life problems in this fantastical world: marital crises, psychological breakdowns, money grubbing and politics.





	To be loved and left alone

The cold, dry breeze swayed the length of her evening gown. The sweet smelling oils of her hair filled her nostrils and stirred up a thirst for wine and something else. Trailing her hands on the low table of her vanity, a smile played on her lips, as the images of Jon training in the courtyard whipped across her mind. 

 

Her eyes blinked with every tilt of her head, till she reached the decanter to pour herself some. Staring closely at its almost pale gold content, she decided to down it quickly; so quickly she regretted it. Patting her chest, she let out a voluntary cough; and just about then she heard the door open to the happy voices of her husband, Jon; and son, ōños Jahaerys.

 

“He is Ned come again.” The midwives of the North said. Jahaerys was born in Winterfell during a second attack by the undead army. They had hardly enough time to shore up their defenses from the previous attack when the horns blared once again. At that time, Daenerys was in the Great Hall deliberating with some lords and commanders over their scarce food resource. 

 

Prior to the strike, Dany had given Jorah, Lord Manderly and Lord Cerwyn charge over the soldiers. As the soldiers readied themselves, the few defenseless were been led to the crypts for cover; and Dany, ripe with child as she was, climbed up the battlements. Her presence inspired the men and women who defended the castle.

 

The battle began shortly and the defenses they erected some days ago didn’t last as long as they had hoped it would; for giants, for the first time in the Winterfell battle, joined the litter of walking skeletons. They punched through the walls and the whites gained entry; and soon, the castle was overrun and pandemonium broke loose. 

 

Three unsullied guards led Dany, Sansa and Missandie to safety. The whites fired ice arrows at them as they dismounted the stairs unto the courtyard; one accurate shot got one of the unsullied in the eye, no one seemed to notice. Dany at this point with her hand on her belly, was struggling to breathe through the cold air. A few paces later she stopped in her tracks, heaving greatly; when suddenly a large spear flashed before her and pinned the remaining two guards together; the women gasped in fear. 

 

They continued running; Missandie held on to Dany’s arm as they ran, until they heard a scream from Sansa; two legless whites had caught Sansa’s flowing cloak. In a pitiful attempt to break free, she fell roughly to the ground and winced loudly as shards of shattered steel poked through her left elbow. The whites were almost grabbing her by the throat before the timely intervention of Jorah and another soldier. With his protection, they reached the crypts.

 

They had barely entered when Dany suddenly gave a sharp cry; the baby was arriving earlier than expected. The older women present helped settle her down. Pain exploded in Dany’s head as she tried to push. She was almost passing out, when the shrieks of approaching whites filled the passages of the crypts. The people in there were starting to panic, then suddenly all the eerie sounds stopped and a few moments later, they heard the jubilation of the soldiers. 

 

She was still in labor and in pain. The warmth Sansa’s palm held against her arm gave her momentum and with that she was able to deliver. In between the grogginess, she heard the voices of the midwives saying something about the baby, she assumed that it was stillborn like the last before drifting asleep. 

She woke later, squinting and slowly raising her head; she was about using the back of her palm to block the daylight from her face, when she heard Sansa’s voice. “Shut the window.” She said. “Sansa?” She enquired in a weak voice, trying to adjust the blurry image before her.  
Sansa glanced at her gleamingly, “Rest yourself.” She said. She turned back to smile down at something she held; something wrapped in a blanket. “The baby had lived?” Dany dared to ask herself, in her thoughts. 

 

She was about to lift herself, when the quick hands of Missandie assisted. She turned to give her a look of appreciation, and quickly noticed how tear-eyed she was and then faced Sansa and asked, “My baby?” Looking back up at her, she started approaching her way, she laid the thing she was carrying in her arms. 

 

It had dark hair with a patch of silver on the right side of its head; a birthmark on its left thigh, roughly the shape of a sword and a skin color that was hers; it was alive and it was a boy. Dany’s heavy tears anointed his forehead which eventually woke him; his cries made Dany chuckle. After a few moments she looked back up at Sansa and asked, “What happened?”

 

“We won.” Sansa answered with a faint smile. “It’s over. The army of the dead are defeated.” 

 

Dany’s eyes smiled at her response. It was still wailing until she fixed her teat in its mouth. Sansa briefly shifted her gaze to Missandie and then to the child. 

“How are you feeling?” Sansa asked.

“Like I just had a baby.” 

The women chuckled lightly. Dany continued, “I still feel weak…I have some pains in my sides.” 

“I will have Maester Wolkan attend to you soon.”

“Thank you my lady and how fares your elbow?”

“It still hurts. I am told it will heal fast with the tincture of herbs Ernis provided.”

Ernis was the newly assigned maester for Dragonstone. He ought to have arrived earlier than the time he came, but the citadel insisted otherwise, for they had heard of the fierce and savage looking foreigners Dany brought into their country; and thus thought sending her a maester will aid her intentions for conquering Westeros. When Ernis was introduced into her court, he quickly became one of the popularly liked persons in Dany’s service owing to his youthful exuberance, intelligence and easy personality. 

 

A few moments of the three of them awwing the baby ensued. Missandie was adjusting the falling gown strap on Dany’s shoulder when Sansa spoke again, “I have some matters to attend to. I will be back.”

“Wait! I want to help… the men… how many did we lose?”

“Please your Grace, get your strength up. I will carry you along on whatever takes place.”

Deciding not to resist her implores, she answered, “Okay. Thank you.”  
Sansa nodded her head in response and headed for the door. 

 

“He is beautiful.” Missandie remarked. Smiling at the complement, she stroked his forehead and mumbled some words in Valyrian; a prayer of sorts, and then kissed its hand. Her smile slowly changed into melancholy.

“How many men did we lose” She inquired again. 

“Hundreds, your Grace; Lord Cerwyn, Ser Merek, Lady Tarth …” She was still listing when Dany suddenly cut her short.

“Brienne?” She asked. 

“Yes, your Grace.” She responded. 

“How?” Dany demanded. 

“A spear through the back of her neck.” 

 

She hadn’t known Brienne for that long, but the days they spent at sea on their way to White Harbor made her develop a certain kind of respect for her. Her obedience and sense of duty was second to none; this had inspired Dany in some ways. It might have given her the heart to stomach all the insults from the northerners, even that one time when some children ‘accidentally’ hit her with a pile of snowy mud outside an inn along the Kingsroad. 

 

She was strolling with Missandie accompanied by two unsullied guards, when the voices of playing children caught her attention, she looked towards the direction of their sounds; five of them they were; chasing each other. One of them was running towards her direction beaming at her, with his right hand carefully hidden at his back, she bent low to see if the child wanted to run into her arms; and then all of a sudden she felt a slap on her face. Her right eye was temporarily blinded, she felt something slide from her face to the floor; realizing it was mud, she took out her handkerchief she tucked neatly in her sleeves and started to wipe the mud from her face; some spilled unto the torso of her dress, when she stood.

 

The boy that was initially running towards her froze in fear, but the hit did not come from him; Dany was sure of this. She looked to her right and the child responsible took to his heels with the rest of his friends. Her guards asked to chase after them, but she waved her hand and told them not to. 

 

The incident gathered a crowd of three young ladies that were already giggling and making some statements about her ruined face and dress. She ignored them and stared at the visibly frightened child in her front. Missandie with a small frown asked the boy, “What do you have there, in your hand?”

 

“It’s… it’s… it’s a toy milady.” The boy said trembling.

In a crouching position, Dany held out her hand and smiled to the boy, “May I see it?” She asked the boy.

“Yes.” The boy said in a whisper. His shaking hands carefully placed the wooden toy in her outstretched palm.

“A knight!” she exclaimed with her eyebrows raised high. The boy nodded profusely. She returned her gaze to him and smiled. “Would you like to swing a sword some day?” she enquired.

 

Seeing the smile on her face, the boy nodded and smiled back.

“You may have to wait till you are older, then.” She said, still smiling. She handed back the toy to him.

She was still looking at the boy, when she asked, “Are your parents here?”

The boy shook his head and said, “My father is gone. It’s just me and my mother.”

“Your mother, where is she?”

“At home.”

“Why isn’t she here with you?”

“She is not feeling well milady.”

Dany briefly turned to look at Missandie and asked, “Have you had something to eat?”

The boy shook his head and stared down at his feet.

Dany then turned to instruct one of her guards in Valyrian. She turned back to the boy and asked, “Do you have somewhere you need to be, right now?”

“No milady.”

“You don’t mind if you waited here awhile, do you?” The boy shook his head.

Some moments later, the guard returned with a sack of food. The boy was grinning from ear to ear. “For your mother and yourself, and your friends too.” She said.

“Thank you milady, thank you…” The boy said happily and took off.

 

By then the crowd had added a few more, the mocking statements and giggling seized after what they just witness her do for the boy. Dany passed by the small crowd and they stared at her with a mixture of blank and surprised expressions. She had gotten some distance when she faintly heard a shout from someone saying something about not being moved by her acts of generosity, she kept her composure regardless. 

 

As she approached where her armies’ camped, Jorah was talking with some of her bloodriders when he saw her. He quickly strode towards her and enquired about her state.  
She answered with a few words and got to her tent at the end of the last word. Jon was studying the map when he heard her enter. Noticing her ruin gown, he started to ask questions. Dany didn’t seem to want to respond, Jon quickly understood that she wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet. 

 

He helped her out of her clothes and she entered into the bath Missandie had prepared before their stroll, the water had become cold by then. She flinched a little when her feet make contact with the water; but after a few moments she settled herself fully in the bath. Jon was watching her the entire time and decided to give her a bit of privacy. He excused himself. 

 

A hot tear rolled down her right cheek when she closed her eyes and suddenly the scene of Drogo killing Viserys played in her mind. She could almost fill the heat of the liquefied gold that poured on his head. She gasped and opened her eyes in fear, by then the skies where dark. She turned to look at her surroundings, the candles were already lit and the air was cold. Realizing that she was still soaked in the bath, she groaned loudly and arose herself from the water. Her hair stuck together as if almost frozen. “How long have I been there?” she thought to herself. 

 

She was a bit shaken by the dream she was having, then Jon interrupted her train of thoughts. On seeing him, she ran to hug him. He hugged her back and felt the cold that clung to her. Some moments later, they both settled down to eat; they spoke about what had happened to her and soon Jon was becoming too distracted by her cleavage. They made love soon after. It was slow, like a whale song, then fast as light, and then in between like the harmony of ice and fire.

 

After Missandie had told her what had happened to Brienne, it took Dany awhile to process what she had just heard. She stared down at her infant who had fallen asleep with its mouth still at her teat. 

 

“I need to help Jon…” Dany began.

“Your Grace, you just had a baby and you lost a lot of blood. You need your rest. Tell me what you need and I will take care of it.” 

Dany wanted to protest, but she decided not to. “Thank you, my good friend. I need you to get a message to Lord Tyrion, and Jon.”

 

Meanwhile, the view outside was a disaster; broken walls, dead bodies, ashes, bloodied weapons, injured soldiers, bickering lords: everything was a mess, and things needed to be in order before going to deal with Cersei in the South. Sansa was busier than ever, organizing and dispersing soldiers and resources to start the process of rebuilding what was lost. Thankfully, the lords were cooperative. 

 

Some days later, Dany was strong enough to exit her chambers, which she had not left since her delivery. Missandie helped to get her ready, Jahaerys was soundly asleep in his nursery. She was doing the clasps of her dress when Dany broke the silence. 

“Still no word from Jon?”

“No your Grace, but a letter from Lord Tyrion arrived this morning. He says he has secured the support of the Reach and some food wagons, with Lord Samwell Tarly’s assistance; but he says he is trapped in the city. The Golden Company had sealed off the region’s exits and the armies’ of the reach aren’t prepared to launch an attack.”

“How was he able to send a raven then?”

“He says Lord Varys helped. He is currently negotiating terms with the princess of Dorne, Lady Elia. She is one of Prince Oberyn’s daughters.”

“So, where are we with the food supplies?”

“Some wagons are on their way as we speak.”  
“Good.”

 

It was going to be a long day and they both knew it. Dany entrusted her infant in the care of one of the older women who helped her deliver, Verona, her name was. Dany had grown quite fond of her. She met her the first day she arrived Winterfell, she was probably the only northerner asides Jon that was remotely nice to her that day. 

 

They rarely spoke, but there was something about Verona that made Dany feel at ease. They became acquainted after Dany had taken note of Verona frequenting her chambers whenever Missandie wanted to help prepare her for the day. Since that day they had more than a few words for each other. 

 

After Missandie had finished readying her, Dany gave Verona some instructions and turned to leave. When she got to the door, she stopped; her breathing was now audible and tensed. She closed her eyes for a few moments then patted down the belly of her gown. Missandie understood her nervousness and placed a reassuring palm on her shoulder. When Dany had calmed, she nodded to the guards to open the door and once again as she had done many times, stepped out to face the world she was born to save.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and contributions are welcomed.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
